Last week, my darling girl put on her first pair of ballet shoes and excitedly walked into the studio while mom and brother waited out in the waiting area. Oh my heart could just burst. I was ready to go dig out my old gear and jump in with Ms. Ursula. As they learned their arm positions to Pachelbel's Canon, my heart was swooning. In part because she was so delighted. In another part because this will always be one of the primary languages of my heart.
Dancing was where I came alive. I loved it, I breathed it, I worshiped through it. It was one of my favorite expressions.
I loved 'the double door rule.' We were taught that when you walked into the doors of the studio we were asked to be fully present in that moment. Whatever was outside the doors was not our concern for the 1-3 hours we were there.
We learned etiquette and respect. Yawning was not tolerated in class. You didn't speak during class, (for the most part). You didn't complain, you worked hard.
You danced full out. No half way option. If you were holding back you'd get called out on it. "Stand up straight. Derriere's in. Turnout. Extend those arms. Jump higher, point your toes. Chin up. Proud chest." You were never caught off guard if you were corrected, you were taught to say thank you. We were invested in. "You practice like you will perform ladies. Don't forget to smile."
You start at the barre. Work to center. Then across the room. This was my favorite. But you can't dance across the floor if you don't have good barre training. Again, such life application. We can't do more in life, if we don't work hard in the basics.
But then I began to feel a new chapter was coming. This was where my first big leap of faith came in. When I was a junior in high school, I felt God ask me to surrender it all. Walk away. Trust him fully. Be done with ballet. Give up an opportunity to go spend the summer at Ballet Chicago. This was the scariest decision of my young life. So many thought I was wrong. But, I knew following where God was calling me was more important than my dancing and my passion. I bartered with God for a good year before I took the plunge. "God, I'll just be the encourager at the studio. I'll make this more holy. Surely, you don't know what quitting would do to me"...but his plans were higher.
March 23rd came. I danced my last performance. I signed and dated my last pair of pointe shoes. A week later I went on a mission trip to Honduras. My eyes shifted to the plight of others around me. I was hooked. That summer I was a camp counselor at a Christian Camp instead of dancing in Chicago. Then the following spring I got to go on two more international mission trips. God blew me away. Because, when he says go, it is in our best interest to say we'll be ALL IN.
Dance full out! Chin up. Smile on. Walk in faith. Anticipate great things.
Since then, God has asked us many more times in our adult lives to be all in. To walk away from things that were good, excellent, and wonderful. But I trust he knows what's best, what's ahead, and in my best interest.
I still LOVE to dance. That will never go away. I would love to be at a zumba class or an adult class more often, but schedules don't often allow it...so I have dance parties with my kids. We rock out in the safety of our home.
It's terrifying to do the unknown. To step out. I encourage you, I plead with you, if there is something you're contemplating doing, but feel uncertain if it'll be a good idea, just jump all in. Don't be afraid of the unknown. So many people told me I was crazy to do it, and that I was making the wrong decision. But I couldn't shake it. I had to follow through on this big thing for my young teenage heart. I'm so grateful I learned then to listen to God's call and not other people's input.
I still dance. I still love ballet. But I am grateful God took me on a far greater quest. Sometimes we say yes to things, and still wish it could've been both. I knew I would never be a professional dancer, but it was still hard to end something early...But we have to trust fully and walk into the unknown.
He will provide answers, hope and peace. He leaps when we say yes. He dances when we surrender. That is a dance I want to be a part of!
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