Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Reflections from the Final Days...


Reflections from the end.

Yesterday I had the privilege of sitting with a dear woman near the end of her journey here on earth. Eager to meet Jesus. Spirit rich. Body weak.  Married for SEVENTY years! Still speaking gently and sweetly about her love. Mind sharp as a tack. She was quick to say they weren’t perfect. They worked on it: for seventy years. So I asked her what advise she would share with me and that I can share with others. Because she has figured it out. I want to sit at her feet and and hear what she has to say. No distractions. Kids at a friend’s house. It was just sweet Mildred and myself sitting in the quiet hospital room listening to the clock tick. So close to the end. So clear are her priorities. Still is she desiring for people to live in right relationship with the Lord. Still is she encouraging us as the pastors to keep doing what we’re doing in ministry. If she speaks, I WILL listen.

“So, how can I cultivate my own marriage to end up like yours? How can I encourage those that are struggling? You’ve done it well, please share any input!”

“Lots and lots of patience. Forgive quickly. Move on from the issues. Forgive some more. Be more patient. We weren’t exempt from issues, we just chose to fix them and continue. Then a little more patience.”

70 years. 7 decades. Not just tolerating each other, but loving each other. Storybook love, but so much better. 

You see we don’t cultivate these thoughts enough. Forgive. Move on. Be patient. How many wives have rolled their eyes at their husband when he doesn’t do x,y or z right with the baby? How many husbands have rolled their eyes at nagging wives? We then simmer, stew, foster a grudge. Small walls get built up. Then more and more. Then we’re feeling distant from one another. OR maybe its just roommate mode. Our spouse feels like a roommate more than our life partner.

Colossians 3:12-14 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all of these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

I was able to touch a little piece of heaven yesterday. I sat and I listened. If I can live a quarter of the life she lived, I will be blessed. None of us will escape alive. I want to live right. No days are guaranteed. It’s the little things that create our forever.

So friends, I beg, plead and encourage you to hear her wisdom. That quiet conversation has the power to change lives. She gets it. She is reflecting on a life well lived. I desperately want to sit down and share this with people. Create the quiet spaces. Slow down. Find the quiet waters. Don’t just upgrade to the new and different when things are difficult. Simple concepts, profound wisdom. 

Hold the hand of someone smarter and older. Seek counsel. Choose life. Choose hope. Find voices that are speaking truth and wisdom into your heart and not just those that will validate your hurts.


“Forgive often. Be patient. Move on from the issues. Forgive a lot”

Well done beautiful sweet Mildred. Well done. Thank you.